Special No More

What makes the month of December as special as everyone considers and makes out of it? Maybe it is the feeling of the cold breeze, the celebrations, being thankful that everyone is still standing despite the challenges in life for the past years and spending the season with the special people in our lives.

 

" Ooops, another anxiety attack! "

 

I won’t lie that this is my most hated season right now. The excitement is not enough for me to forget my loneliness. Why? because a lot of special moments before were as not as special this year… One of the things I learned in life is that I must live each day as if it is my last. I have never regretted this much emotionally in my life. Last year, I spent the December season in United Kingdom with BettyB’s family and friends. It was special because I made a lot of new friends; I was given opportunity to travel that far; and most specially, BettyB’s family made me feel really special to them. Sadly I was away from Tatay, Sis Doll’s Family and to Mr. V (not knowing that the preceding year was the last).

 

Two years ago, I organize a small party at New Year’s Eve. It was a very private family affair. With the money I solicited from Batotoy, my brother, and BettyB, I bought some raffle items. It was a wonderful party indeed. Then at 12:00mn, we prayed altogether to thank God for all the blessings.

 

I know the feeling of being special to someone that is why I know how it is not to be. No more small notes of ‘hi and good night’, even saying ‘I need you’ and ‘Can I see you?’…

 

I hope I can still push myself to be as happy as I was from my previous December seasons.